More From Twitter

I wonder what all these comedians did before there was Twitter?



ionuin: Me: I love you. 4yr old granddaughter: When you die, I'm getting a cat.

The Reverend: Weather is only interesting when people die.

Barbeegrrrrl: When comforting a Grammar Nazi I always say softly, "Their, there, they're."

Mara Wilson: You don't want to be judged on your appearance? SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU WERE BORN A WOMAN!

Ms. Shiz: I may not be very nice or intelligent or good in bed, but at least I'm not thin.

LOLGOP: If you can't have a baby, move to Arizona, where you can't not have one.

Stacy: I'm learning to speak a little bit of convenience store owner.

4Anno4: I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.

Stacy: I went to the wrong high school reunion and had way more fun.

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